Forged and Polished: Chapter Eight

My alarm goes off another time. One more day down. Now, only three days left in forensics. 

I wake up to a few texts from Alex. I fell asleep early last night, so he was probably a little weirded out that I didn't respond at 8 pm like a normal person. I know he was still in his head a bit after story time during the day. 

Good morning hun. Sorry I crashed out early last night. You doing okay? 

Time to hop in the shower and wake up. I finally got some good sleep last night, but adjusting back to living is hard sometimes. The hot water starts to beat down on me, and I hear a loud meow from the other side of the shower curtain. So help me god this cat tries to jump in the shower again. 

"Chester Sassafras if you jump in this shower, I will not be drying you off!" Too late. I see him before I even finish the sentence. The little shit doesn't listen. Now I have a soaking wet orange rat running around and a bleeding foot from his escape attempt. What a wonderful way to start the day. 

After tending to my bloody foot and the trail of water he left, I can finally get dressed. I have zero desire to be all cute just normal clothes today and definitely no heels. I grab my phone to tell Alex how stupid Chester is and am greeted by a very disheveled but very cute picture of him. 

Okay well you might look scruffy and half asleep but I'd still climb you. 

Not a lie. I love the fresh morning look. 

After yesterday, we need a day in bed Liz. I'll probably be in a little late this morning. Just so you don't freak out when you beat me in. 

I show him the bloody mess that is my foot, bandage it to be able to walk on it all day, and then finish getting ready. Three more days of forensics. 

I'm the first one into the office today since Alex is having a slower morning. I always love having the office to myself. Since I am getting towards the end of my to-do list, I make myself a cup of coffee and let Charlie run around the office. When I'm here alone or just Alex, I've always let her run around and sniff outside of my office. She knows where her home is and goes back when she's done. 

Today she starts in the break room making sure there are no crumbs laying around then moves to the conference room. She circles the table a few times before she starts walking down the hallway to the individual offices. She sniffs my admin's office first, but she's quick to move on.

I guess I lost track of time because as I'm following her down the hallway out of Matt's office, Alex opens the back door. Instead of turning into our office, Charlie makes a beeline for him. Apparently, I don't matter when he's around now. 

"Well she's pretty happy to see you."

"She is adorable and pretty sweet, so I'll give her the attention she wants," and he reaches down to pick her up. She snuggles right into him and laps up the affection. Did I never notice how much these two liked each other? 

"How's the foot Liz?" he says as he carries her to me to hand off. He tries to hand her to me, but she has her paws literally wrapped around his neck. She's not moving. 

Instead of making her move, we just laugh. She is such a princess. I just reach up to pet her while we both walk to my office. 

"The foot is tender. I have it bandaged enough to hopefully last the day. Fair warning for when you shower at my apartment, fucking Chester loves water until he's soaked, and then he's an idiot."

He laughs, "okay noted."

"You know, this is really cute right here. She's so comfortable with you," I almost whisper to him. I know no one is around yet, but it feels like I should still act like it. 

He turns and just smiles at me. I love how comfortable we have always been with each other. It really doesn't feel like that has changed in the last few days. It only really feels like we are more honest now. 

I don't register what he's doing until he leans down and kisses me. It's not a deep or long one but more of a good morning. 

As we break apart I note, "I'm guessing no one else is here yet?" 

"Nope. Now how do I get her to release me?" He starts pulling at her which makes her grab on more. She may only be ten pounds, but if you try to make her do anything she doesn’t want to do, it won’t happen.

"Wait, don't pull on her. It'll make her mad, and we don't both need to be bloody this morning." I open her bag of treats, and she launches herself off of him and onto my desk for the two treats sitting there. 

"She's stubborn, isn't she?" He quips. 

"Just like her mama. You should get used to it now."

"Maybe just write me a list of what to expect between you and the two cats. Oh, before I forget, do you want to grab lunch together? I think most people wouldn't notice it as anything odd."

Good to know I'm not the only one who wants to spend time together. 

"Sure! Come grab me when you're ready? I'm probably going to end up splitting my day between the lab and the office. Do you wanna risk driving together?"

"It's probably fine. If anyone asks, it's a goodbye lunch. I'll just grab you and drive." 

Finally settling in to work, I realize how short my to do list has gotten in the last two days. I really don't have any more laboratory work left to do. All of the physical lab work is done and wrapped up. Jim said he's going to do some practice injections to make sure he understands my systems. I really only have drafts of procedures to finish and then hand offs. 

My whole five years here has boiled down so quickly since last Monday. I can't really comprehend all that I've done. I started here straight out of school, and the learning curve was steep. I not only had to learn how to function in an adult work environment, but I had to learn how to do my job. 

I had to learn how to take all of the experimental and theoretical knowledge I had and move it to practical. Nobody could have prepared me for the incredible shock to the system that was. I now had real world problems, like a house that burnt down, and I had to use my skill set and available tools to figure out why. Granted there's a lot of repetition after a while, but in the beginning, it's all brand new. I had to learn how to find ignitable liquid mixtures in a complex scan full of a million other tiny things. It took me months to learn how to break it down and see the patterns. 

I had to learn to build weird and individual apparatuses. I had to help build a miniature storage tank for super strong bleach and mix it with nefarious chemicals to watch what it off gassed. I used to tinker at home, but to turn that into a marketable skill? I still don't quite realize what I've done. 

I had to learn how to write reports in a simplistic way that still managed to convey the precise science involved. I had to learn how to identify and remove my own biases from my work. Do you know how fucking hard that was? 

All of these skills and all of these memories are starting to wrap up. It all just hit me like a ton of bricks, and I actually need a minute. I didn't realize it at first, but I'm breathing hard and tears are starting to drip down my face. I was not prepared for a breakdown today. 

Instead of fighting it, I honor it. I let the emotions wash over me. I'm not sobbing, but I'm feeling a lot. Charlie notices my change and comes running. She sits in front of me and lets me pet her while the tears fall. There's so much emotional baggage with leaving the job that shaped you as a young professional. 

I can't help but wonder if I'm even capable of succeeding anywhere else. I shaped myself around this job. For better or worse, it's become who I am. I'm a forensic chemist. I get to do bad ass science for the greater good. I can't believe I'm making the choice to leave this lab and this incredible team. 

Charlie helps me bring my emotions back down. She's leaning into me and purring. Her loud purr and supportive head butts are something I'm going to miss when I start my new position. I slowly start coming down to normal with only a few tears here and there, but then Alex walks by. He notices Charlie on my desk and probably how red my face is. 

His face is instantly worried as he steps over the gate and closes the door a bit. 

"What's wrong? Are you okay?" He says as he circles around my desk. He leans against it right next to me. To her credit, Charlie doesn't move from my side. 

Looking up at him, I want to breakdown again. I'm leaving so much. 

"Sort of. The gravity of this week ending is hitting me."

He just reaches down and picks me up into a hug. Any other time, I would care that he's showing affection without the door completely closed, but I need it. Just his smell and warm hug helps me calm down. I wasn't ready for a huge hit of emotions today. 

He releases me and gives me a moment to compose myself. "Liz, are you okay? Do you want to go step out and grab lunch?"

"Yeah let's do that. I think I need to get out of this office for a bit."

He nods his head. I pet Charlie, remind her not to harass everyone while I'm gone, grab my bag and leave. 

We are risking leaving together, but everyone seems busy, so it should be fine. Before I get in his car, he grabs me for another hug. I happily accept it. Fuck, he really is so soft and sweet. I feel him gently kiss my forehead before we break apart, and he walks over to the driver's side. 

"So where are we going? And don't make me make a decision in my current state Alex."

He chuckles and nods again. "Okay understood. Teriyaki? Or Mediterranean? Both are far enough away that most everyone else avoids them." 

Oh he read my mind. "Mediterranean!" I almost scream at him. "I've been craving a kebab!" 

“Wait, since when do you eat meat?” he almost gasps at me.

“Just because I don’t eat it often doesn’t mean I don’t crave it sometimes. I just want a giant stick of chicken okay?!” I laugh at him before he shuts up about it.

He laughs at my eagerness as we pull out of the parking lot. It doesn't seem like anyone else is out and about, so I relax into the seat more. 

"Liz what was that about? Are you actually okay?" He looks over at me still worried. 

"Yeah, I'm okay now. I just needed a little cry. I'm overwhelmed with what I'm leaving behind and everything new I'm starting." 

He sighs and nods. He has to be tired of hearing me say the same thing, but I'm an emotional mess these last few days. 

"I promise I won't be a sad bitch for long, but I may be for the rest of today," I say as he glares at me sideways. 

"You're too hard on yourself, but let's not get into that right now. Let's go get some food into you first. Then let’s get you through the week and go from there." 

We pull into the parking lot, and I practically run inside. Now that I'm not crying as much, I desperately want food and water. Alex is right on my heels. 

"Thank you for rescuing me from wallowing in my office," I say sheepishly. 

"Stop apologizing. Seriously. Has no one treated you like a human? It's normal to be emotional right now," he says back at me. I almost want to drop my eyes. He's right, but it doesn't make the brain stop doing stupid things. 

"I'll try. That's the best you're getting out of me," I quip back at him.

"That's all I want. Well, not everything. I want you to tell me if I am going to have to deal with the suffering you caused me yesterday. What the fuck Liz," and he starts laughing. Full on laughing. 

"Well you didn't tell me to stop!"

"How am I supposed to tell a beautiful woman to stop?" He snaps right back. His eyes are sparkling now. He wants to spar. 

"You always have a choice Alex. You chose not to take it, so I felt the need to tell you exactly what I wish I could be doing. Dragging my tongue down your cock..." I trail off purposefully. 

His eyes almost pop out of his head, and he starts coughing. Probably should have waited until he wasn't drinking water to say that but fuck it. Fuck everything. I'm leaning into the sex. I know how to manage that. 

He is still coughing and trying to compose himself after a few seconds. "Alex try not to die on me. I actually want to be able to do that." 

"You're going to kill me very soon," he manages to get out before coughing one more time. 

"Don't act like you don't want me tucked under your desk as soon as we go back this afternoon."

For that, I get a smirk and a "I didn't say that."

"I know you want that as much as I do, so let's change the subject." 

We spend the rest of the lunch and drive back to the office on much easier topics. We just dance from one topic to the next. It's all too simple to relax and banter with him. He's always been fun to talk with, but now, he's becoming a happy place for me. I really like it, and I think I'm falling for him now. 

Long before I want lunch to end, we have to force it to end. We head back to the office in our shared happy mood. After such a good mid-day break, I'm almost kicking myself for not confronting these feelings months ago. We could have so many more stolen lunches like this. 

Pulling into the parking lot, I take a minute to compose myself and go back to professional normal before I get out of his car. Walking around his car, I move to head to the door, but Alex stops me, grabbing my hand. He steals one more kiss before letting me lead the way back into the lab for the day. 

<3